Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
