I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
