she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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