This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
