addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
