Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
