I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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