I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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