Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
