Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
