So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
