Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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