I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize