Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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