Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
