So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
