I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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