so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
