I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
