I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
