God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
