I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
two words: eviction party
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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