So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We don't watch enough power rangers
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize