I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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