just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
