do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
