Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
