is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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