True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
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You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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