I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
