yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
