I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
