Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
