I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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