well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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