remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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