she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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