Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
birth control should be required to get into college
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
