if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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