you turned your livingroom into a bong?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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