real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
