Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
