Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my being single is dangerous.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
