brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
honey bunches of taint.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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