remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
nutella sex= disaster
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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