I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
