i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
