and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize