he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
operation have a gay friend backfired
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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