But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
