So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
