I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize