Sry I called you an 8
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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