Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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