so that wasnt chicken after all
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
