dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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