Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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