oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
