I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
